So Bad They Couldn't Get Models

I present to you dresses from A.B.S. I don't know what A.B.S is, I found these dresses on the designer clothing website Bluefly but nonetheless they need to be seen. Or maybe not.

So bad that they couldn't even find a model for it, this dress will ravage your eyes like a lion eating the zebra that died for this dress. No it's not actually made out of zebra I just wanted to say that. Nevertheless this dress sells for $210 (though it's on sale for $167.99). Personally I wouldn't wear it (in public) for anything short of 1k. Apparently the models have more integrity than I do.
I'm not entirely sure why there are so many 'Trash Bag' dresses out there (Yes, I have more that I will share in the future, so consider yourself warned.) This one however seems to say 'I'm not just a trash bag dress, I'm also shiny and I've got an animal print, all the things that no one in their right mind should ever wear!' It's $204 dollars but also on sale for $162.99. 
Speaking of shiny, this Schoolteacher-attacked-by-gang-of-hoodlums-with-metallic-silver-spraypaint-dress caught my eye and nearly blinded me. The design itself isn't bad. The fact that you'd be running around in what looks like something more suitable to being a space-parachute however... [$270]
I must admit, I'm lacking at something clever to say. I think the use of 'Ultra Pink' has once again stunned me and left me stupid. This more looks like fabric that everyone-save-my-grandmother would avoid at JoAnne Fabrics fashioned into a hastily made, poorly measured T-Shirt than any sort of designer dress.